Happy third of July to America the booze-iful. Hope everyone’s plans for tomorrow involve plenty of local craft beer, fireworks, flags and food. In preparation for the 4th and the festivities that follow we’ve included stories about grilling, booze-filled desserts, and fireworks gone hilarious, also a quick bite about how to make pizza cones, because nothing says American like deliciously bastardizing a traditional food into something that should be served at a carnival.
via Bon Appetit
Here are my 11 Commandments of Grilling:
- Have a beer in your hand.
- Be drunk enough not to worry if you’re doing it wrong.
- Don’t be too drunk to do it right.
- Gas is for wimps.
- Grill various meats. Beef is preferred.
- Grill various vegetables. Corn is preferred.
- Grill various fruits. Peaches are preferred.
- Don’t be a jerk if someone tells you how to grill.
- Never tell another man how to grill.
- If you need a flashlight, you better be wearing it on your head.
- When ready, inform guests by doing something loud. Ringing a bell or firing a gun are preferred.
For a list of commandments by a professional, check out our link.
Here’s a video showing what is exactly right about America and the 4th of July. You have never seen a collection of people who more creatively blow themselves up with fireworks and do it with such conviction and determination. The American dream has never been a house, a job, some kids, and enough money to support all of that. The real American dream has always been to blow stuff up. So check out a link to see people exploding fireworks into themselves. For a video of people exploding fireworks OUT OF themselves, you can check out Katy Perry’s Fireworks music video here.
via NY Daily News
In true Jersey fashion, for a pre-fourth of July party, a group of fit adult men send out a pregnant woman to fetch beer and soda for the festivities. That’s not shocking, we all know and have seen firsthand, far worse acts of culture and decorum. That aside, this picture is still truly shocking – Who the hell drinks Pepsi? These people truly are the worst.
Anheuser-Busch InBev, a Belgium Based Beverage Business, just announced they are going to purchase Grupo Modelo to become the world’s biggest beer supplier. But, while one beer company may literally own most of the beers sold in the world, they still don’t own our hearts.
Ever wondered how you can bake AND raise your blood alcohol content? Well, buzzfeed has compiled a collection of recipes that can do just that. Typically when I want to eat my booze I dip white bread into whiskey, I call it a whiskey sandwich and it’s gotten me through some difficult times. Skipped dinner and need to get ready fast? Whiskey sandwich. Grandma died and it’s lunchtime? Whiskey sandwich. About to get in a barfight? Knuckle sandwich followed by a whiskey sandwich.
via Bless This Stuff
Ever thought to yourself, damn, if only pizza was a food that I could eat on the run. No, you’ve never thought that because pizza is a food that you can eat on the run. That’s why they serve it on street corners. Ever seen someone serve a Steak on a street corner? Yes? It was probably disgusting. It was steak on a stick? Ok. Well, for people who really want mobile pizza, or just can’t decide between pizza and a calzone, now there’s this – The pizza cone.